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  • Robin Kastengren

When I Wanted to Send a Card

to the only person who ever knew what unconditional love means, my mom said she forgot her address and besides, she's in Florida and won't get anything you send anyway. My sister said she also didn't know and was far too overwhelmed with life to have a look for me.

I wanted to send a card to my Fairy Godmother to let her know I was ok. She is the only one who has been calling calling calling and just leaving me messages saying she loves me and hopes I'm ok.

My words are no match for the strength of hers when she loves someone and she knows it. She knows I can't talk on the phone sometimes and doesn't care why. She also isn't going to try to make me do anything I don't want to do.

My texting fingers were off limits as they were still part of the panic attacks at the time so I wrote a note in a nice card and put a stamp on it and asked my mom for my Fairy Godmother's address.

I ended up sending the card to my mom's house since they all live right there. My pretend mom would have given it to her but idk what the real one did.

I bet she read it first bc she thinks she's entitled to screen my mail. She thinks she's entitled to control my support network and only allow me access to it when SHE sees fit.

She wouldn't give me the number when I was 8 and she wouldn't give me the address at 44 and the goons colluded.

Wtf even is that?

And if you have a problem with me still calling her my Fairy Godmother, I triple dog dare anyone with the address to go over there today and tell her. And tell her I love her while you're there bc my mom is unpredictable to me.

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