If I was "homicidal," why did they give me Prozac and send me back to school in the morning?
The only people I ever hurt with my fists in high school (except that one girl) were the boys who would trap me in the stairwells bc they knew I would freeze if I got scared.
I couldn't muster a punch my Freshman or Sophomore year, but I managed in my Junior year. I got a lot of free school vacations in the form of suspensions and self-granted leave and the boys left me alone after that.
But, of course the message I got from my parents and school administrators is: We don't hit people to solve our problems and never that boys aren't allowed to do that to you. Nobody ever cared about that part.
Anyway, it appears I don't have to reimagine my 20s and 30s, at least for now. So back to the laundry and dishes and that's a relief.